My brain can be so confuddled, and I just don't know what to think or do. I'm always waiting for the sign to move. I'm always waiting for the nudge on my shoulder until I continue. I'm always looking for someone to show me the way and how to do it. And I mean this in a purely human, non-religious sense. I really am an existentialist.
I wish that I had that someone to rely on. And I know who I wish that person was, for a change (what?! Claire has a crush?!). I wish that I had the courage to go for it, but I'd rather have him as a friend than take the plunge. Not to mention, I have no idea how he feels. Sometimes, when I sneak a glance, and he's looking back at me, I think he may like me back. But why would he like me? I'm not exactly a diamond in amongst the dirt. I'm the dirt amongst the diamonds.
No, I don't say this for the sympathy 'awww Claire - you're beautiful' either. I say this in a purely 'everyone else around us is equally as cool, so why not choose one of them?' way.
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